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CI Community :: Bridesmen, M&M's, Parasols..

 
 Football Brat's Stephie Turner & Chris Ganan

Football Brat's Stephie Turner & Chris Ganan

 

When we were married, Sugar Cookie, or Stephie Turner, wrote us a three page letter on Hello Kitty paper in pink ink, with the latest news in her life, locking her into our minds as the model for how sweet and charming a 14 year-old could possibly be.  Now a screenwriter and  actress, she still does a version of that over on Football Brat, where she offers up alternative press from the inside.  Even though we hike past her summer cabin every day, we hadn't seen her for a few years.  So when she came forward with her proud papa and eyes welled up, we drew a breath - she's exquisite, and there were plenty of tears as she stepped into her vows at the divine Inn at Rancho Santa Fe.  We've long-admired Stephie's lucid take on "football royalty," and what it's been like for her to be in a family that's constantly in the media.  She lives her own, creative life that's grounded in integrity, which was made more real when we met her charming fiance Chris, and the "Little Sister," Stephie has mentored for ten years.

We often talk about the delicate burden of families in leadership, and the requirements of sacrifice that need to be balanced to raise a healthy family.  In some ways, it's an unlikely scenario that children will come out intact - it takes a tremendous amount of love, vision and commitment from the parents that's not always possible.  Norv shared how little girls have a special magical power over their fathers, and it was apparent, from the hand-penned invitations, outdoor living rooms, gelato stands, 10-piece band with 3 horns, the late-night garden after-party, and fresh tacos to the dancehall, but more because he could barely get through his speech, which was very funny, totally moving and requiring a helpful stack of notes.  There was just so much love in all of it, with her brothers playing bridesmen, the groom's brother offering a pitch-perfect speech on how Stephie will never compromise Chris' style, and the impromptu, riotous rapping on stage from their best friends.  

Comfortable, playful and tight - the details taken to honor their guests were a perfect reflection of how Nancy, Norv, Scott, Stephie, and Drew have always done family.  We felt every bit of the love!

 Goodie bags with local beaches + eateries.

Goodie bags with local beaches + eateries.

 Legends: John Robinson, Gil Haskell, Norv Turner & Dan Fouts

Legends: John Robinson, Gil Haskell, Norv Turner & Dan Fouts

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 popcorn, anyone?

popcorn, anyone?

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 Drew, Robyn, & Scott Turner (Cleveland Browns), CI Founders David Paul Hackett & Maya Hackett

Drew, Robyn, & Scott Turner (Cleveland Browns), CI Founders David Paul Hackett & Maya Hackett

 The tents went on forever. 

The tents went on forever. 

 Loved watching how close Robyn Turner & Nancy Turner are.

Loved watching how close Robyn Turner & Nancy Turner are.

 Nancy & Robyn Turner, Mrs. Gannon

Nancy & Robyn Turner, Mrs. Gannon

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 Coach Gil & Susan Haskell, David Paul Hackett

Coach Gil & Susan Haskell, David Paul Hackett

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 Coach Dave Wannstedt and Jason Garet, Dallas Cowboys Headcoach

Coach Dave Wannstedt and Jason Garet, Dallas Cowboys Headcoach

 Fan programs.   

Fan programs.   

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 Magical.

Magical.

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CI Mentors :: 2-Time Superbowl Lineman, John Ayers Gave Trust + Listening

 

John Ayers congratulating Jerry Rice.  Photo by Tom Levy, The Chronicle, 1986.

 

Starting 7th grade,  I was on my fifth move and fifth school as an NFL kid.  

As close as we were, there's an unseen sacrifice in every football family, as the sport requires the full, 24/7 presence of the coaches to get the job done.

So it maybe goes without saying, but I had developed some beliefs about myself (neuro pathways/ brain patterns) like, “I am not trusted enough” and “my opinion is not valued in my family.”

At Calibration Institute we clear, create and calibrate such thoughts with specific intention.  When I was 12, it took an often unnoticed hard working Cowboy named John Ayers. 

For those of you that followed football at all in the early 80’s, you know the famous drive...the young Joe Montana led down the field in the final seconds in the NFC Championship Game that led to “The Catch” by Dwight Clark, in the end zone, to beat “America’s Team” the Dallas Cowboys.  The 49ers went on to win the first of what would be five Super Bowls in that era.  Well.   One of the offensive guards protecting Joe and leading that charge down the field was John Ayers.  To me he was a real Cowboy, tall, huge, strong, and straight outta Texas with a handle bar mustache…and as a young kid his trust and listening for me blew out some of those insecure neuro-pathways, creating a new possibility, with a foundation of confidence that let's me be great in my life.

 

What we bring at Calibration Institute is an authentic, innate, profound listening for the true and ultimate fulfillment of you, your team, and organization.  Regardless of your game, we bring science and strategy to the absolute reality that you can do it…there are just some very real patterns in the way, "dis-allowing" your doing it.  In the listening of CI, all things are possible.  It starts with someone listening to you differently than others have been, including you and the stories you’ve made up about you that no longer serve you.

 

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CI Community :: Kamal Ravikant, Loving, All the Time

 

founderzen.  author kamal ravikant.

 

No one really seeks us out unless they are a visionary, and given by an intense sense of contribution.  Our authors continually surprise us with their personal tenacity, coupled with a distinct joy they find in human expression.  And every once in awhile, we are given the gift of a gorgeous friend in purpose, one who forwards the art of calibration.

Kamal Ravikant glided up (in a sweet silver BMW cabriolet), heart splayed open, eager to clear a series of emotional gashes that threatened to swell and inflame a year of good fortune.  We did some - he takes responsibility for himself with the transcendent self-knowledge we hope all CEOs might bring to the table.  And he vowed deep reciprocation.  (He does this, paying things forward, back and all around, all over the world. It's his gift.) Over the next 48 hours we exchanged truths, became family and discussed the merits of giving as a personal practice, when one is doing well, yes, but more as an intimate lifeline during those times when the sheets are pulled up past the nose, when the rain sounds like pewter at midnight, and the wind seems a lonely constant.  We considered the credits earned by those who've gifted us with not just wisdom and leadership, but fleeting moments of grace in the form of friendship On Path.

 
 Kamal and CI founder David Hackett

Kamal and CI founder David Hackett

 

We played basketball. Or at least, they did.   

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And when he left, we settled in with Kamal's first book, based on a short talk he offered to an audience of scientists, Pentagon officials, politicians, and CEOs on the secret of life.  A tiny book, by any standard.  And another example that brevity is a marker of the divine.

We've gifted these pages to our inner circle of beloveds, not to fill them with more access, or more wisdom to soak in to their absorbent leadership, but as a fleeting moment.  A bit of grace and an invitation to form a committed friendship to themselves.

One response, from a brilliant lawyer, father of 5, recently divorced: "I changed my passwords from "youreafuckp" to "ilovemyself."  Why would he do that?  Not out of hope.  His kids gave him plenty to hope for.  Because he realized that despite what he may or may not have fucked up, he actually did love himself.  Still.  And again.  

It's not a book of affirmations. One just has to read it.   It's about calibration, in a simple, sublime form.

And while you're at it.  Live Your Truth.  Available.  Right now.  

xx, Maya

 click to buy

click to buy

 click to buy

click to buy

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CI Mentors :: Coach Lineweaver

 
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Coach Lineweaver was the toughest, strongest, scariest man I ever met.  

And he loved every single one of us. 

His willingness to say whatever he  was thinking, his commitment to telling them straight...I guarantee you many of the boys he coached will never be loved like that again in their whole lives.  Because that's who he is for young men - an unwavering, rock-solid stand.

Friday Night Lights took place the same year he took us to his first of seven Texas State Championships, at three different schools.   He has gone on to become one of the most winning coaches in Texas history.  And Texas highschool football is special.   A Friday night game might have 20,000 fans in the stands.

2nd Chances. 

Basically, I kept getting hurt, and he didn't feel like I could be in the starting rotation, so he had me as the fourth receiver.  I was a senior, so in my head I was like, "m****er-f***er!"  After a couple of games, I had taken a long time to think, to plan...I talked to my father, to my mother, and my friends about talking to him about being one of the top two guys.   I was petrified...

Real quick (my kids favorite), The Fire Ant Story...

It's 7am. The field, still wet from watering, is starting to boil and steam under us.  It's already pushing 95 degrees and will be 110 by the end of morning two-a-days.  We're in dark green uniforms baking under the morning sun and my buddy Skinner and I are whining and complaining as we roll and stretch with the team...and now the Texas Red Fire Ants are finding there way into our uniforms..."F**k!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Obviously, this is not cool and we are starting to get loud in our complaining, disrupting the morning rhythm of the team.   Out of the corner of my eye I see Coach Lineweaver coming towards us...shit!   My heart rate is picks up.  The ants are burning and aggravating an already uncomfortable morning.  Coach Lineweaver walks right up to Skinner and I, quickly assesses the situation...standing...he just looks at us...says nothing...bends down...picks up a handful of Texas Red Fire Ants in his bare hand....................and puts them in his freaking mouth!...............And, starts chewing em!..........he keeps looking at us right in the eyes while chewing.........and then walks off.

We shut up, wipe off the ants best we can, block out the discomfort and keep stretching...

We had to have the toughness as a team to slam through 16 straight wins and a state championship against at least five teams much more talented than us.  

So, nobody calls meetings with Coach Lineweaver.  

And somehow I mustered the courage and I had the real belief that I was a top two guy.  Despite a few things...

Yeah, I had had two hamstring pulls, a broken finger, an ankle sprain, a sprained sternum & a bad back...

Did I mention I really believed I was a top two guy? 

I remember gaining momentum in practices.  There was a great long pass and I knew everyone was watching and I dropped it.  I was pissed, running full-speed and I threw down my arms.  My right hand hit my heel and I broke my thumb. Pouting!  I can still see Coaches' reaction, right now. 

He wanted me to be a top two guy, and I was good.  And there I was injured again for another two weeks.   

And yet...I made my case.   The meeting was on Saturday. 

Coach Lineweaver said, "I will consider it, here's the next things to do.  You have to be in two hours early for film study.  Come to earlier, 5am practice with the starters."

To this day, I do not know what happened that Sunday.   My alarm was set, I ate a good meal the night before. I was inspired and I was excited.  And not only did I not get up two hours early, not only did I not get up on time, I slept thru the entire normal practice and film.  I slept thru it!  I just f*ing slept thru the whole thing.   

So, it gets worse.  I get up totally distraught, my heart's beating, I'm sweating, I'm panicked, hop in my car, and rush down to the field house.
 

I wasn't close to him like my Dad, but this was a man that I very much wanted to follow.  I deeply wanted to contribute to him and be a part of what he was doing.  I was playing in the games, but I was eager to be a part of the bigger picture. 

I'll never forget.  He walked out of his office, and he just looked at me.  He didn't say anything, he didn't yell at me, he didn't berate me, he just looked at me, shook his head subtly and walked off to what he had to do.  And I was completely devastated.  And wasn't even sure I could trust myself.

In California-land we offer kids other chances.  Not there, not then. 

The fact that I even held the meeting, and the fact that he even said yes, was significant.  It was understood in that culture, it was a huge olive branch he had granted me, and I blew it. 

Fast forward ten games, I busted my ass every single day in every area I could, just to stay part of the team in any way I could. Hoping to gain some trust back in my own heart.   I caught passes here and there, made little contributions, but ultimately they were little in the scheme of our team's success.  

I want to indulge in all the little details, but I won't.  When we beat the number one ranked team in the state of Texas in Dallas Cowboys Stadium half way through the playoffs, I was happy to just be a part of the team, little or big contribution. 

At 15-0, heading into the Texas championship game at Baylor University Stadium, we were abnormally struggling on the first few possessions on offense to move the ball and things were getting tense. On our third possession, we faced 3rd down & 15.  By divine intervention, Coach Lineweaver calls my favorite play 16 Jet Slide while I'm in the huddle...I remember thinking this must be an accident, I'm sure he doesn't want me in this position at such a pivital moment in the game, he must really want someone else in here.  

As I lined up, I remember thinking, "well I'm sure the ball won't come my way anyways he must be thinking someone else will be open"...low and behold I'm wide open and The MVP of the State of Texas Quarterback Mike Uldrich throws a perfect throw that anyone could have caught...the roar of the tens of thousands of fans and the energy of the tens of thousands more listening on radio etc.. has stayed with me forever, forever, forever...

At that moment, the neural pathways in my brain permanently set up a pattern for contribution, fulfillment and adding value in a team setting - even if I screw up major along the way or let my leader down.  As I ran to the sideline with the crowd still roaring, coach was busy calling the next play but for a brief moment he made eye contact with me and maybe even a tiny crack of the beginnings of a grin started to appear.  

That drive ended in our first touchdown of the night and the momentum carried us on to a huge win, and 16-0 Season.  It was the first Texas State Championship for the Southlake Carroll Dragons, now one of the top 10 high school football programs in the country.  Second chances are real.  Whenever I can  assist anyone at truly experiencing a second chance at whatever stage of life they are at, I will be there to set them up like Coach Lineweaver did when he believed in me. 

 
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strauss creamery

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A rainy day & several hours in the car led us to the legendary Strauss Creamery, & that dashing man up top.  Along with being incredibly charming & handsome, he & his wife have been raising, loving & milking over 200 cows a day, twice a day, for 34 years.  34 years.  I am 33.  So.  A baby in the world of right livelihood & spiritual practice.  And I've so much to learn from folks like these.  I have never seen someone having so much fun, so in love with his day-to-day life.  He toured our group around with a spring in his step, a giggle on his chest.  You should have seen his delight at getting the kids to pop their fingers in the milking machines.  So much fun was he having, that he went around the group, 3 or four times so they really got the nature of the sucking action.  A man who gets breast feeding!!  I mean, he really gets it & is a true admirer of the sport, the miracle of the process.  Not to mention he has been midwifing these gracious animals in every possible way.  I think when he began talking about the birthing process & asking the kids to demonstrate how they look when taking a dump, a couple of kids peed their pants.  And when he began talking about the insemination process!  Well, I think one of the moms pooped her pants.  I don't mean to be crass.  But that was a really, really fun tour.  Rain & all.  And he does it for free, a commitment to sharing the wonderful world of organic dairy farming.  Angels on earth, organic dairy farmers.  When flies take over the farm, they bottle feed each & every cow to prevent salmonella.  When a cow goes sick, it's all about the homeopathics & natural care.  If the lady might be lost, they give her some antibiotics & pop a big X on her ear, never to be milked again.  A loss for the farm, a boon for the rest of us.  These are the kind I wish to learn from, I wish the children of the world to know & gaze upon.  But that's the last thing he wants.  After popping some bottles in their hands, he wrestled down some giddy young bulls & got our kids feeding.  What else can I say but thank you?  For the tour, the things they do that we'll never know about, the heart break of animal husbandry, the magical ivory milk...  And for the rest of us, for buying organic dairy, & supporting men & women such as this.  We are blessed.

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'round here

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Fall things be goin' on.  It only just started for us, you know.  It's been high Summer right up to the first of November.  But just look at all the seasonal stuff you can do when it's hot & dusty!  Harvest season is officially closed & outside the world has turned crimson, damp & fresh.  The sky is still a brilliant blue & our fireplace is an overjoyed cave of glowing, shimmering, simmering embers.  Dinner means good friends, a potluck of soup, bread & sausage.  And the leaves have only begun to sail across our paths.  Like I said, things be goin' on round here...

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